Father Deacon Taras (Terry) Papish (affectionately called Proto) was one of those people that one never forgets; if only because he was himself in everything he did.
This might not seem like a very remarkable thing to celebrate; after all, we live in a culture that glorifies the extraordinary, and proclaims over and over again, that we are either not good enough to be ourselves, or that we have to be something completely different to be ourselves. Yet despite any expectations or social, economic or religious pressure he always presented himself as just that; himself.
Indeed in being “himself” or more to the point, like the Prodigal Son (Lk 15: 11-32) he was always labouring to “return to himself” bearing witness to love. For “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor. 6:4-7). Indeed this isn’t something one forgets.
The love he had for his wife Gail, was both profound and elemental – he was truly himself – a husband in every respect. The love he had for his children (and grandchildren) was both absolute and unconditional – he was truly himself – a father in every respect. The love he had for friends was both supportive and corrective – he was truly himself – a friend in every respect. A labour that is unforgettable.
Alas, I only ever saw this from a distance, and I never had the opportunity, or time to develop a closer friendship with him; yet this witness of love was all the more verified for me (even if only experienced in a formal or professional way) by serving beside him as a deacon and then intime, as a priest. It is here that I witnessed first hand, his love of God in both being glorified and humbled – he was truly himself – a Christian in every respect. His love of serving the Lord, both mystically, at the Altar in the Divine services of the Church, and practically, in the “daily distribution” (Act. 6:1), serving those whom he encountered at school, work, the hospital; whether they be family, friends or complete strangers – truly a himself – a Deacon in every respect. Not something that can be forgotten.
Of course I’m not naive enough to think that it was ever easy for Proto, or that he never had to work at them (especially given the continued and prolonged challenges to his health). Yet in spite of these challenges, or maybe because of them, he made it look easy. As he once said to me, “when you think about it, what is so difficult about loving… it is who we are”. Then he laughed and qualified his insightful comment “we generally get in the way of ourselves and make it harder for us and everyone else…Господи помилуй (Lord have mercy)”!
I have been holding onto these words in the days since his blessed repose, if only because they expressed the purpose he strived for – loving God and neighbour alike, and accepting the love of God and neighbour alike – the context of being “who we are” in general, and specifically “who he was” – himself. Even when his various health challenges became much more pressing, and was faced with the reality of not being able to serve Vespers or Liturgy at Holy Resurrection (something that was indeed a understandable sorrow for him) he told me that this was “Боже (God) telling me to serve Him in the hospital or at home”. Again, not something one forgets.
As many Orthodox Christians know, the principle hymn at an Orthodox funeral is “Memory Eternal” (Вічная Пам’ять). Indeed it is an expression that we are not forgotten by the Lord, who even in His descent into Hades, seeks to liberate all humanity – by name! – constantly forgiving and redeeming all of us from the effects of sin and death. This hymn is also an expression of our faith in the forgiving love of God, and an affirmation that the witness of love offered by our departed loved ones, stretches into the endlessness of God; yet all the while confirming and correcting (in God’s love) those of us who are stuck in time and space.
This is a great and healing consolation. That even in the bitterness of losing a husband, father, grandfather, friend, and brother at the Altar, bears a kind of grace. Those things that have been taken away from us in the falling asleep of Father Deacon Taras – love, are those things that stretch into the timelessness of God, as they truly manifest His divine love for us, because his blessed self recognized “loving…it is who we are” – Nothing can change this, and make me forget about him – not even death.
May follow his unforgettable example of being ourselves – as “children of God” (1 Jn. 3:1) and truly may His memory be eternal!
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